11) Introducing EPP’s by Khaos
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I've mentioned how I have aphantasia... Where I can't visualize inside my head.
You say picture an apple.... I know what an apple looks like, I could describe it to you from past times I've seen apples... but when I close my eyes and try to "picture" anything it's just dark... sometimes kinda staticy that's it.
But I also don't have an internal voice or monologue or whatever normal people have. It's just silent. Sometimes when I'm really tired I literally have to mouth words to myself to THINK cause I can't figure out what I'm trying to say.
Because of this I've ALWAYS been better at typing than any other form of communication because I can keep track of my thoughts as they come out. I don't have to remember what I was saying. I re-read and edit as I go over everything I write like 20 times before sending. I’ve been misunderstood too often, but it still doesn’t help if you’re not ready to hear what I’m saying. I was more likely to be accused of being on drugs stone cold sober than not because I didn't even know what the fuck I was talking about anymore.
I can't speak for now cause I haven't tested that theory in.. years... still sober in every other way i mentioned in the past blogs though... but THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
The point issss my guides had to get creative with their communication.
Yeah I catch vibes REAL well but they can't exactly talk to me or show up. Now you can believe me or not I really don't care but they choose Facebook. It’s like Bumblebee talking through his radio. One of them has these big long posts that make me feel how yall probably feel about reading my blog posts but every time I'm like... damnnn I mean you right but why you gotta say it like THAT🤨
Others are through tarot readers or other forms of Divination. Sometimes it's just the perfect meme at the perfect time. Nothing makes sense I promise.... until it does. I thought I was going crazy for most of June.
When everything clicks it's like they were SCREAMING it in my face the whole time. I don't mean to yell at you guys when I do but it's the energy needed for that message I guess so sorry not sorry.
Recently though they started speaking to me in a new way... or maybe I just finally started hearing them. They’ve probably been screaming all along like all the other times.
But as you may have guessed if you've stayed up to date on my journey so far....
It's music!!
So they gave me this key that if you allow it... if you're ready to start the journey of living an authentic life. Free of all the negativity and control we were all DROWNING in.
Please give this an HONEST and OPEN chance.
I used to say on the bad days it was like sitting in a room with 12 people in a circle around me all telling me about their day at the same time. But that wasn't REALLY true, they definitely weren’t telling me about their day. It was my mom. And my sister. And my dad. My teachers. Friends. Bosses. Strangers. Everyone who had ever passed judgment and made me feel the need to hide a part of myself. Their voice was just looping on repeat so I wouldn't forget to hide. Except I couldn't hear them... I could just FEEL this happening somehow. However the fuck my brain works…
Talk about blind faith.
I googled chaos for the first time I can remember last night. I'm sure I did back in high school. It was in all my AOL screen names before I took on CallMeKhaos but I don't REMEMBER, and I've just always identified with it I feel like. I use the K for my last name and cause it felt edgy for my lil emo self.
Because of this when I started to figure it out I was terrified. I had already spent most of my life feeling like I was never enough. What if when I removed all the other voices there was nothing left?
I struggled with the difference between excuse and reason for a long time.
I thought I was explaining reasons and other people were calling them excuses. Something finally clicked somewhere last year though, but I didn't realize it clicked until I woke up at 6am to make this note and finish writing this blog because I guess today’s the day.
Is it an excuse for why you can't do it...or a reason why it might be harder for you?
“It” can be anything. Any perceived limitation you have. Yes there’s SOOOO MANY THINGS I’ve never had to overcome… but there’s also quite a few “unovercomable” things I’ve found ways around…
I’m supposed to stay under 25 points per day on my visible band, but have probably only had 10 days total where I managed that since June, and I haven’t had a flair since the middle of it. Since I’m listening now everything doesn’t have to scream anymore. The pain is still there, the struggles are still there. Y’all should see my house, it’s a mess.
But the area where you feel the most “pain” could be where you actually hold the most power. You just need to be ready to face it. You need to be ready to take on the challenges that healing will put in front of you. If you want some guidance you can read along with my journey in my previous and future blogs. Or reach out under the services tab.
Please follow the guide I've attached at the end of this. Remember not to be too hard on yourself. If you are just starting your healing journey of figuring out WHO you are, this might feel like a punch to the gut… I’d highly recommend reading ALL of my blogs FIRST and probably giving them a little time to sink in and integrate.
But you do you boo.
The more aligned you get the easier it will be to get through and the more you'll be able to truly understand what the universe wants you to hear.
On that note I would like to announce the release of Emotional Processing Playlists by Khaos
Also known as EPP’s. ;) I swear I didn’t have this idea until like 2 weeks ago, it was just so perfect I knew instantly I needed to protect it. I can’t have people asking ai to make them an emotional processing playlist… It doesn’t have emotions guys… and I’ve seen enough movies to know it definitely doesn’t need to understand them. Please for the love of god.
Either way the trademark’s are in the works and my lawyer said it’s safe to release the idea so without much further ado…
Sometimes you just need truths screamed in your ear to knock loose the stuff you didn't know was hiding.💜
I hope you get something great from my first EPP.
Wake Up!
You got this. I love you all!
Khaos💜💜💜
Recently though my guides started speaking to me in a new way... or maybe I just finally started hearing them. They’ve probably been screaming all along like all the other times.
But as you may have guessed if you've stayed up to date on my journey so far....
It's music!!
So they gave me this key that if you allow it... if you're ready to start the journey of living an authentic life. Free of all negativity and control we were all DROWNING in.
Please give this an HONEST and OPEN chance.
On that note I would like to announce the release of Emotional Processing Playlists by Khaos
Also known as EPP’s.
WAKE UP!
Playlist Here - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUvOo2nxBJJA
My new youtube account, I forgot the old password lol - https://www.youtube.com/@callmekhaos1123
P.S.
This is just the beginning ;) I have at least 15 more I’m already working on… so far. But this one was ready and it was time. Those workbooks won’t be free though. I promise they’ll stay cheap for download. Printed versions coming soon!
So important I was only allowed 2 hours sleep before they woke me up screaming to write this blog NOW. It’s fine we’ll get through everything together! Don’t give up when it gets hard, but also don’t hurt yourself too much. Take it as slow as you need. <3