14*) Let Khaos Reign.<3

(I did not listen to that playlist while writing this I swear. Unfortunately the only witness’s were my animals so unless we all manifest that they can start talking like Zooptopia… I don’t have a witness.)

Let that play in the background if you can read and listen at the same time.

This whole healing journey is like a cruel joke I swear.

But it’s so fucking funny at the end that it’s worth every ounce of pain.

I have a feeling most of you won’t have quite as much to wade through as I did. But there’s going to be plenty of you that have more. And there’s going to be TOO MANY that have been through WORSE. I can’t say I know what I’m asking of you guys. You have to decide for yourself if this journey is right for you.

Everything that comes up I think, “Okay this is the BIG one.”

I get through it… have a few days to breathe…

Then the universe taps me on the shoulder again.

“I know you’re tired.”

“I know you just want to enjoy everything you’ve been working so hard for.”

“You’re almost there, you just have to keep taking the next step, you got this.”

I just wanna see what I know to be coming, start to REALLY show up.

It already has, I see the evidence all around me.

But it still feels flimsy.

Like the rug can be pulled out from under me at any moment and I’ll fall straight back down into the pits of hell to keep fighting.

That’s because this whole journey is the big one.

It’s just layer upon layer of pain until you turn into a big grumpy Ogre. Shrek.

Cast out from the village for just trying to be themselves.

I just want to feel like I’m standing on solid ground.

I just want to exist and not have to try so god damn hard at something every second of every day.

I lied last week when I said the loss of Bootsie was the first test of my mask.

I don’t know how I’d forgotten when I had a reminder tattooed on my forearm.

I told my ex before getting it…

“I’ve never worn my heart on my sleeve emotionally, so I figured I might as well physically.”

Little did I know I had already started that on the other arm as well.

I often say I’ve always loved reading but that’s also not true.

There was way too long of a period that I never touched any books. Funnily enough… It was when I was being touched by men.

“Not all men.”

eyeroll

Yeah… not all sharks too.

Not all women hate men these days. Most don’t.

I don’t.

I think men are wonderful beings.

When they are healed.

When they aren’t healed? They are on the same level as women who aren’t healed.

No one is better than the other. Just different.

One lives their life from love.

The other lives from fear.

Same world, completely different existences.

Completely different realities. (3D vs 5D for the New Agers)

When I stand next to a less healed friend we are not looking at the same world.

You know how I said I think some people could be born healed and the world could take it away real quick?

I’m pretty sure I was talking about myself…

That’s what the signs are leading me to.

Which leads me to believe that… That was ALL OF US.

You see they use words like Demons and Devil to scare you. Now adays it’s narcissist.

Make you think it’s something not of this world. That it could never be in you. But it’s surrounding you every day, and I’d bet real dollars it’s even hiding in your own shadow. (Peter Pan)

All they are ACTUALLY referring to is negative energy.

The thing they have made this world as we know it RUN ON.

It’s like fucking Monster’s Inc.

Running on laughs (love) is a much stronger energy than FEAR.

They put the truth DIRECTLY in our faces and we sit back LAUGHING as we all kill ourselves slowly trying to exist in their world. They get joy from our pain but it’s time to take our fucking power BACK. Without US they have nothing. We are where they exist.

WE ARE LETTING THIS CONTINUE EVERY SECOND WE LET SHIT SLIDE.

THEY are the negative entities of your world.

The ones who are trying to keep you all trapped in your MATRIX.

Scared of the narcissist in your own shadow. Convincing you it’s in everyone else.

“And this is how.”

They put them everywhere in the media and make them loved and adored so we think it’s normal. That there’s something wrong with US for being hurt by the things they say.

We must be interpreting it wrong.

Asleep to the actual reality around you.

They make you think it’s fake because they put real barriers in the movie. In reality the barriers are in your mind.

They’re in the trauma responses you’ve been conditioned to believe is your personality.

The symptoms you're made to feel are “all in your head.”

I’ve “watched” the matrix a few times in my life, but I’ve never SEEN it. I remember scenes here and there.

Everytime it comes on the TV when it gets to the end I’ve realized I dissociated and didn’t remember any of it.

Cause I wasn’t supposed to wake up yet.

All my talk of puzzles and I don’t actually like them… They hurt my brain but if you leave them with me for long enough. I WILL figure them out.

But it wasn’t my time. I hadn’t acquired the skills I needed yet to be able to do the things I am going to do in the future. I didn’t have all the pieces I needed to solve THIS puzzle. This blog is what I have been assembling the pieces for. I needed to get to THIS truth.

So YOU could read these words and start to understand.

You’ve already heard it all before a million different ways.

But maybe a million and one is the magic number.

They feed us conflicting news stories to grow the divide.

Keep us fighting each other instead of looking at the real problem.

They control the narrative.

If something comes out that’s a hint to the truth they make it turn into something to be feared.

If someone tries to argue that it's wrong they are prosecuted and everyone is made to believe that they are the one that's “evil”.

Sounds like a narcissistic relationship to meeeee…

I also told my ex last week, “I think I’m done with digging into the past. I’m just going to deal with what’s left as it comes up.”

Ding Ding Ding… you guessed it

Turns out that was a lie too.

Again, I didn’t know it was when I said it.

How could I know that something would come up a week later that would need my “testimony” of relationship experience.

I meant it whole heartedly. I’ve been putting myself through the emotional ringer with barely a breath in between trauma’s to recover. I want to say while trying to hold my life together… but we’re being honest so… while disassembling my life one brick at a time while I figured out which pieces were meant to stay.

No wonder they always reference “having a solid foundation” as a key to success.

That shit crumbled when looked at directly.

Kind of like our conversation…

Later in the day he said, “I didn’t really want to come today at all, but our conversation in the car on the drive down helped a lot actually.”

Now I “can’t know” he was talking about me, alleviating his worry that I would reveal something that may shed a bad light on him in my blogs. How do I even know he’s worried about it… He’s never told me… I felt it though. Plenty of tarot readings have told me too in their own ways. They’ve told me A LOT of details about past situations I was “blind” to. They even pointed out to me I wasn’t supposed to know what someone else felt without them saying it. It was their responsibility to voice how they feel.

Like I said. Not having a visual or audible imagination means the universe had to get creative to “talk” to me.

It’s been giving me these hints my whole life that I am now using as references for you guys to help understand. Like how I mentioned it’s like Bumblebee talking through his radio in Transformers. That’s not all that movie was trying to tell me. Every time I remember something, the harder I look at the thing that triggered the memory the MORE information I get about the situation.

I haven’t tested rewatching yet because I don’t have time for movies. When I do have the brain space for external entertainment again, books are definitely the priority.

Getting back into books is what really helped me remember who I was.

4 years ago I probably owned less than 20 and they were in a box in the basement from childhood.

They helped me feel myself in characters rather than see.

They showed me what characters were thinking, not just the external interactions being had.

“I read all your blogs, you know. Every single one. I’m so proud of you. You’re everything I always knew you could be. More even.”

Seems like a nice and supportive statement doesn’t it?

Almost sounds like validation.

But it’s not.

He admits he never saw my true potential.

He takes ownership of my accomplishments.

He makes sure I KNOW he’s watching every word. Good Morning!

I now have 15 boxes of books packed and I’m not done yet. 15+ books per box.

I’m not just going to pack my books before my trip. Once I’m done with them I’m going to start with all my favorite things. Because if it’s not a favorite thing, it’s probably not coming with me.

Everything else can be replaced with something better. When I leave for California on the 26th I am going to be ready to come back for my animals and things for like a week, MAYBE two and then be gone for good. I won’t be able to exist here after that, I just know it.

Still no game plan on the details but I’ve forgotten what it means to worry. I don’t have time to think about what isn’t going to happen anymore.

Things can be replaced with other things. I don’t need all the pieces of me that I’ve kept from past versions because I felt bad letting them go. I felt if I let them go I was letting go of what they were tied to.

The people in my life who had hands in these pieces of myself will always be a part of my story.

My love for them will never fade. Now I can finally see the FULL picture though.

I don’t need to weigh myself down with literal baggage. Not when it can be donated to help someone less fortunate, or thrown away if it’s at that point.

But also, why am I hanging on so tightly when there’s so much pain held in that relationship.

I’ve felt like he was holding onto a glimmer of hope we’d get back together even though it’s been a year and a half.

When I saw him yesterday that glimmer was gone. We didn’t have a falling out. He must have felt that I was figuring it out. Maybe I didn’t respond to the manipulation the way I used to.

He’s been nothing but “supportive.”

The words chosen, nothing but positive.

That’s where the healing industry went wrong for a while there.

They said healing is all love and light.

It’s not.

If you want to feel whole you have to be whole.

You cannot just be your good side.

You cannot just be your bad side.

You can find financial success embracing either of these sides.

If you want fame and fortune you don’t even have to do it all.

There’s a reason Los Angeles is called the city of Angels.

It’s a whole bunch of people who are ALMOST authentic.

They did MOST of the healing.

But to WANT to be famous… you gotta have a pretty big ego.

That’s gonna be like David vs Goliath.

But if you’re reading this somehow, if you can achieve all of this without that last step… imagine what you could achieve if you took it?

Every Single One Of You Has The Power To Change The World...TODAY.

Or you can continue to find emptiness.

A cup you can never seem to fill.

Endlessly draining those around you.

He always “joked” that he was a vampire, and I never could fully doubt it. Now I know why. (Thanks MGK, I promise you can heal and still have creative inspiration. You don’t need to keep fucking shit up in your life for a song. <3)

All you have to do is be your good side AND your bad side.

You can love your light and your dark.

Embrace the negativity when it can be used to HELP others.

Embrace the positivity when it can be used to HEAL.

Like I’m embracing my ego right now writing this blog KNOWING it’s about to change the world.

Everyone get’s so caught up in their ego’s I guess I had the advantage there. I have always had one, but it was a part of my shadow not my light. Until TODAY.

You have to crush that shit so you can control it. Otherwise it’s going to control you even when no one else can. Even when you’re doing everything else right to heal. You’ll stay trapped in hell if you can’t conquer your ego and integrate your shadow fully into who you are. (That means you have to embrace every negative thing you’ve ever done. Understand the reason behind it, forgive yourself and the one who caused it. It’s not easy, but there’s a blog about it. Don't worry.)

Now for those who have been to war… I’m not asking you to go back. I’m trying to protect you from having to do that by triggering you myself. It’s not your fault you killed those people. Even if you chose to be there. You didn’t start that war. FORGIVE YOURSELF. And THANK YOU. <3

(This also applies to those whose lives have felt like war. Even if you turned around and started causing pain because of the pain caused to you. FORGIVE YOURSELF. Make a better decision tomorrow. One that doesn’t come from a place of fear, or external control.)

I’ve struggled to see clearly because he’s been on this healing journey with me.

Where everyone else was confused or resistant he seemed to understand.

But he hit an egoic road block a while ago I was just trying not to notice.

I cared too much about what would happen to him if I saw the full picture. Instead of valuing what that was doing to me. No more!

I have a dumpster outside just waiting to be filled. (Not with a body I promise, he’s alive and well.) I’ve already taken 6 bags of clothes to the drop box donation thing. Once I finish this emotional excavation the rest of the external excavation will begin I’m sure.

I already have a tattoo appointment tomorrow. I just hope she can cover the lyrics. I’m done doing anything for anyone other than myself. She’ll always be with me in my heart. But the light half that’s always been with me trying to help me see. Not the shadow that got stuck here when she left.

At some point in school my reading started to be something to be ashamed of. 

“Why are you so focused on that book when we have these guys playing baseball in front of us?”

I don’t know if that’s a quote but it kind of feels like it is.

I even feel like I remember when it happened even though I didn’t know those words were even in my head until I typed them.

I mentioned in the last blog about losing friends and family to their own choices or hands.

I always found a sliver of solace in the thought, “At least they finally got what they wanted.”

My aunt had been trying for most of my life… In and out of hospitals trying to keep her alive.

I know where my mothers trauma stems from. That’s just a sliver of her puzzle. She does not have an easy shadow to face and what I asked of her earlier in this blog was asking something that would break most people. I know that. But I also know how much light she has to shine and how much that light could help this world. That’s why I HAD to ask. I don’t want to force anyone into their healing journey but I’m coming to understand that might come with the territory of interacting with me now. So if you’re reading this… welcome to the new world, let’s make it everything WE CAN DREAM.

When I started getting tattoo’s I would get one every year for my birthday. I knew I wanted a full sleeve on my left arm by the time I was 16 it was just a waiting game…

You might ask why if I knew that then it’s still not complete?

It’s the playlist of who I am. Which isn’t fully figured out yet…

I’m not in control of when my playlists are “done”, my higher self makes that call. But it’s the first emotional processing playlist I ever started.

I know that now.

My very first tattoo was the Black Veil Brides star on my inner left arm. Andy hadn’t written the right song yet.

That went on my right arm when I turned 21. The heart on my sleeve.

Done For You - Black Veil Brides

Something in me always knew I was going to have to show who I was inside.

“The star that shined so bright faded the fastest.”

The actual lyrics say burned.

But she didn’t burn… she shined.

So bright.

She felt like my first real best friend. She was in the same grade but a year older.

We had sleep overs, played soccer at the park, talked about boys, and our parents, and went on adventures. We’d play hide and seek in the horse stalls at the fair grounds. Or walk through town to get ice cream. It felt like a different life when I was with her.

I’d had other best friends, but they were out of convenience or circumstance mostly, she was different.

Her name was Kristi and she was my sun. I just wanted to impress her, always.

In 8th or 9th grade her dad died. It was so understandably hard for her.

Me and our other best friend took her up to her room after the funeral to try and cheer her up. I don’t remember any details other than skittles and a tutu but I know we ended up all laugh/crying together on the bed before we knew it.

Unfortunately though his death resulted in her moving about an hour away.

Not old enough to drive yet this felt like an entire world.

We talked on aim (xXx11chaos23xXx) as much as we could but she was definitely boy crazy and her priorities were on that fully. Her new school had all the cute boys I guess.

The distance grew and I started my journey of “getting it over with”.

I had to find out what all the hype was about.

What was I missing?! There must be something wrong with me…

I didn’t realize she was one of my voices. No wonder I didn’t want to let it go…

No wonder I didn’t want to see the truth I’d been hiding from for too long. This whole journey I’ve been digging to find myself, but first I had to finally let her go.

Since I’ve already taken on demons and vampires we might as well add ghosts to complete the trifecta.

Sign me up for supernatural. I’m ready now.

For my junior year we moved to Ithaca, NY.

I had already completed all the math classes offered at my other school but I wanted to learn more.

When they started throwing words in I struggled but I was still fascinated.

The numbers made sense. I just couldn’t remember all the rules and little details.

Even though math was my “best” subject it was never my favorite.

That was always English.

I need to thank all of my English teachers. I don’t remember their names but they always gave me a safe space. That classroom always felt the most like home every year.

Now my English class my junior year blew all the others out of the water because it wasn’t JUST normal English. It was a combo class that also taught us movie and video editing.

Which saved me in college because my teachers allowed me to make videos for my “presentations” instead of having to get up in front of the class and SPEAK I could just press play and hide in the corner.

I was actively interviewing bands at this time…

I couldn’t stand in front of a class of people I knew, but I could talk to my hero’s and men I drooled over, at that point, on video to potentially be seen by all of their fans… Make it make sense lmao (I’m working on it.)

I lost my V card to the star of the soccer team who had a GF in another town…

We talked about that though at the beginning of all this.

But I didn’t go into the details. I’d get dropped off at the park then walk to his house.

No one could know. When we played soccer together it was like I didn’t exist.

Kristi was the only one I told. I needed to share with someone and she was basically in another world.

Just to note if I say “my ex” or “He” I’m talking about one of them… If I say “They” then I’m talking about both of them OR one of them and Kristi (she) or all of them.

You see until I was ready to confront the OG narcissist in my life I was destined to come across them in every form imaginable.

My job that asked for my heart and soul for $13.50 an hour plus tips.

A decade of my fucking life and $8 dollars worth of raises over the years. I’ve been gone for two weeks and that place is on the verge of collapse. If they survive the first game day I’ll be shocked. I hope the girls don’t go down with the ship. You can’t save something that’s trying to shoot itself in the foot.

If you’ve ever felt like you were giving your all and getting crumbs in return… while being told YOUR giving crumbs… They might be narcissists.

The ex that was raised by a single mother who cleaned houses to feed her 3 sons.

The ex that was raised by a single mother with his 10+ siblings, until he ran away from home to live on the streets cause that was preferable.

The friends that rung out every drop they could get from me then blew up in my face when I’d run dry.

They were assholes. But they were “our” assholes.

They said they supported you fully but only actually showed up for your support.

They maxed out a credit card and never paid any back.

They tend to have forgotten about things when you bring them up.

Or ask, “Oh didn’t I take care of that already?”

Make you question your reality.

Make you unsure of your own truth.

They held their early lives over my head asking why I was so fucked up when they had been through worse.

I only had tv growing up for 2 years of my life.

The summer before 9/11. When I’d get my fill of Rocket Power before riding my bike to town or getting a ride to hang out with Kristi. Got to watch the first tower hit in the class room, and after being evacuated as we were just a few hours away…

I walked in the door of my house to the second one getting hit.

Then my junior year of high school.

I always tried to watch One Tree Hill, Smallville, 90210, and Gossip Girl when they aired.

I’d do my homework while watching.

It was my “family” time when I didn’t hide in my room.

Of course this family was only really my mom. My dad stayed in Walton most of the time when he wasn’t traveling as that’s where work was still based out of.

One of the evenings in the winter during one of these shows I got a call from the 3rd friend from Kristi’s dad’s funeral. I could hear in her voice something was wrong so I went to my room so my mom wouldn’t ask questions from my reaction.

Kristi was in the hospital.

I don’t remember what happened exactly but I think she just collapsed or something. She had been having headaches for a while…

She had a brain tumor and was in a coma.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t face how I felt it was too much, so I shoved it down.

I went back downstairs and continued the show like nothing happened.

At some point I reached out to the new friends I had made and I remember us having an epic snowday snowball fight but that’s the only coping I did. I didn’t tell them what I was going through or anything I just escaped into the fun.

In the spring during another episode I got another one of those calls.

I went to my room again and this time… She was gone.

Again I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t know how to exist with the emotions I felt. I didn’t know how to express them, so I put them in a box at the back of my brain and went back downstairs.

Back to the show with my mom like nothing happened.

Like I hadn’t just lost the only human bright spot I’d ever found. If I’d only known then.

I didn’t talk about it with anyone. The first time I saw the other friend we cried and hugged but didn’t say much. I had other main friends by then.

When I moved back for my senior year we never really reconnected. I’m sure now that was on me. How could I face her without also facing what I’d lost. So if you see this I’m sorry for pulling away from you then. I know we’d already developed distance after she moved but maybe we could have been there for each other. Maybe how she was, was what created the distance between us…

My senior year I just wanted to get over with. I didn’t want to be back at that school. I didn’t want to be around those people. Everyone knew everyone in small towns. You couldn’t do anything without hearing about it from someone else by the time you got anywhere.

Luckily that school did block scheduling. You had 4 classes that were 80 minutes long, and then halfway through the year you switched and took your other 4 classes. Versus the schools with 8 40 min classes all year long. I don’t know what it’s like in other places but those are the 2 experiences I know.

I only needed 3 credits to graduate so I got to wake up late. Of course now that I could drive myself and didn’t have to wake my dad up to drive me 2-3 times a week this didn’t seem like as much of a win.

After I graduated in January I realized what I had done to myself.

I had all the free time and no distractions other than soccer practice.

I had qualified for the all-star team for our district and was going to Barcelona for a tournament.

So I had something to look forward to at least.

I tried to drown out the deafening silence with movies and friends but it never worked.

My whole life felt like a weird calm chaos. I could never keep my room clean if my life depended on it.

I sank into music and let it consume me so I didn’t have to see my failings all around me.

I could drown the whole world out with the right song.

My walls were covered with posters and pictures of boys.

I was described as “boy crazy”.

I felt obsessive.

The Jonas Brothers were one of my first “guilty pleasures”.

I would go from Green Day and Sum 41 to Jonas Brothers to Asking Alexandria with no shame… when I was alone.

When I was around others I started feeling like none of my music was safe.

It was either too childish or too “weird”.

I wasn’t emo enough to be an emo kid.

Wasn’t punk enough to be a punk kid.

I was way too much of both of those things to be a popular kid.

But then I was a star athlete so they couldn’t just write me off as the weird kid.

I’ve felt the AUDHD experience of not enough yet too much reflected in nearly every aspect of my life. As I’m sure anyone else who experiences both has felt often. And anyone with only one has probably also felt an immense amount.

Finally finding that explanation helped SO MANY things click.

But understanding WHY I felt how I felt doesn’t solve anything.

It’s an answer sure, but it’s not a solution.

Another answer isn’t that something's “wrong” with me, it could be that something is “wrong” with the observing party. Like narcissism.

Narcissist - “You’re doing something wrong.”

Autism - “I’m LITERALLY giving 100%.”

But we are made to feel from the beginning that something is wrong with us.

You know why?

Because we can hold duality.

I would hazard a guess that a neurotypical brain cannot be both light and dark at the same time.

“EVERYONE has autism these days.”

“Everyone has adhd these days.”

“Everyone has chronic illnesses these days.”

The amount of OVERLAP between these things is WILD.

Until you think maybe that’s because we ARE the answer.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

I got that on a bumper sticker at my first warped tour, no car in sight for years.

Probably damn near 20 years to the day.

Well today I’m proud to say,

“Hey kid! I listened to the bumper sticker. I took your advice. Thank you for showing me the way.”

If you’ve ever felt like you weren’t enough for someone.

Or something.

Or somewhere.

STOP FORCING IT.

Just because you’re used to it.

Just because it’s been there for years.

Just because you’re “comfortable.” (I promise you're not actually if you relate to this.)

Just because they birthed you. Or raised you. Or grew up beside you. Or married you. Or is your best friend. Your boss. Your child. Your Aunt.

I DON’T CARE about what ANYTHING WAS to you.

I just need you to look into yourself.

Find that scared little kid that’s been hiding in the closet of the back of your mind wondering when it’s safe to come out.

Sit down with them for a bit. You don’t have to talk yet. You don’t have to ask them any questions.

Just sit with them.

Let them breathe with you.

The moments between breaths.

When you’re neither inhaling or exhaling.

Just look at them. Appreciate them for everything they are and everything they have gotten you through until this point.

Then when you’re ready, take their hand and tell them it’s okay to come out now.

Tell them you aren’t going to let anyone make them feel like this ever again.

Tell them you’re going to protect them with every ounce of grace and love you’ve been pouring into everyone else around you all of these years.

AND THEN KEEP YOUR PROMISE.

That promise to yourself is going to be the most important one you ever make.

If you break it it won’t be the end of the world. The child inside will give you grace like you’ve deserved your entire life. They know you’re learning something new.

They know you can only change a reaction by repeating the response OVER and OVER and OVER again until it becomes automatic. That means there’s going to be a lot of opportunities where you might miss the “shot” heading for your inner child because you hadn’t learned to see them coming yet.

That’s OKAY! They won’t hold it against you as long as you see your mistake when it happens.

Learn so you can do a little better the next time the lesson comes around.

It might take a few rounds. You don’t have to get it on the first try. As long as you are TRYING your inner child will always be SCREAMING for your success like the biggest fan you forgot you already had.

I love you all. Lets make this world a place where we can let our inner children out to play without fear of being shamed or ridiculed.

Go out into the world today and make a fool of yourself.

Show everyone else it’s okay to just BE THEMSELVES.

The most important choice you will ever make in this life is the decision to be yourself or not.

Let’s free ourselves from the hold narcissists have had on our lives for far too long.

I’ve been scared to throw that term out this whole blog because of how much it’s over used but I got to the the root of the issue and now I’m certain.

I hope this helps someone live their most authentic life.

I promise it’s worth every single tear when you make it to the other side. AND YOU DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO DIE TO GET TO HEAVEN. You just need to heal and in the process, you’ll be creating your very own heaven on earth.

Let Khaos Reign!

(and I thought I didn’t have an ego… let’s laugh together on that one.<3)

P.S.

That was my fantasy football team name last year.

What should I do this year? I’ve done CallMeKhaos and KhaosEngine… but haven’t used KhaosEngine in this league so maybe I’ll go with that. If I do, thanks Ronnie!

The universe is gonna give me the first draft pick so I can have my boy Gibbs again this year thankfully. I mean I had sonic wearing his jersey tattooed on my leg for my birthday this year so it would be blasphemous for me not to have him on my team. And with my new skills at listening to my intuition maybe I can finally get out of the 4-6th range. Maybe not though because I have zero intention of actually watching games this year.

Love you all again. <3

P.S.S.

Yallllllllll don’t even realize how many people have been trying to tell us this for so longgggg.

I hope this gets through to you. Any pain my blog brings forth in you is done with LOVE so you can heal it. I’m not trying to trigger you just to trigger you. It’s so you can work through it instead of waiting for life to bring around another example.

So many movies.

So many books.

I could start a list but I don’t think it would ever end.

Just listen to my Wake Up playlist. Thank you, I love you.

P.S.S

Please share this.

Quote it.

Turn it into a video.

Steal my words I don’t care just SPREAD THEM!

Thank youuuuu<3

It’s all just a symptom of being human. <3

Now ALL my friends are coming with me.